Low libido is often a lifestyle generated imbalance and can be the cause of relationship reactive patterns.
If you want a good relationship you have to nourish it and the best way to do that is to nourish yourself. A healthy sex life is an important part of this (Chinese medicine) but there’s lots of lifestyle driven deficiencies and imbalances that affect sexual function and lead to behaviours that create relationship friction.
For example, I’ve seen quite a few women clients recently who say they “don’t feel good in their skin” or have that “I don’t want to be touched” feeling which affects their sex life, their partner and their relationship.
Relationship counselling won’t help here. That feeling comes from blood deficiency (as we say in Chinese medicine). Blood is many magical things including ‘protection’, so if blood is deficient you feel raw, vulnerable, exposed and not comfortable in your skin.
You’re naturally annoyed or resistant if a partner wants to get touchy feely, or take up avoidance behaviours (go to bed before them etc) but they can take that personally. But it’s not them, and it’s not you, it’s an imbalance. It’s like there’s no ‘energy’ in the blood and the body (which is old school) reads this as not a good time to reproduce, so it doesn’t generate the sexual signalling.
Herbs are part of the rescue package! The Chinese Peony formula is my herb of choice for blood deficiency. It’s like relationship counselling in a bottle!
For men, sexual signalling is kidney rather than blood related, and kidney deficiencies manifest as low libido and disinterest in sex. This can also cause relationship problems but, as is the case for blood deficiency, it is lifestyle generated and that means it can be lifestyle corrected.
You restore Kidney power (and blood deficiency) through little lifestyle edits including a diet of hearty cooked meals (ditch the juicing and raw foods), resistance exercises to strengthen bones and, of course, Tai chi, chi gong or other chi practices. The herbs I use for male low libido include the Chinese Major Four Herb Combination.
Both the above deficiencies were intensified by the pandemic restrictions which took away quality of life and put unbearable pressure on relationships. New research has found that it had a major impact on people’s sexual activity and functioning. Relationships and intimacy went down as alcohol use, depression, anxiety and stress went up. Porn viewing – which if it leads to excessive ejaculation can contribute to low libido in men – went up by 25%.
I’m all for using lifestyle as medicine, it’s incredible how powerful this can be, and to get started recommended reading is Chi Health Cycle. There’s over 200 simple things you can do to create as much health as you want and to achieve the quality of llife we all deserve!