Forget everything you’ve been told about healing from relationship breakups. This groundbreaking method transforms heartbreak into an opportunity for authentic self-discovery and spiritual awakening.

Why Traditional Heartbreak Advice Fails

Most relationship recovery advice follows the same tired formula: take time to grieve, don’t rebound too quickly, work on yourself, and eventually you’ll be ready to love again. But what if this entire approach is fundamentally flawed?

After four decades of clinical practice treating heaps of people stuck in the aftermath of relationship breakups, I’ve developed a completely different approach.

The problem with conventional wisdom: It keeps you trapped in the narrative that something went wrong, that you need to resolve it, and that time is the ultimate cure. This can just prolong suffering.

The Revolutionary Truth About Heartbreak

Heartbreak pain isn’t from a wound that needs healing – it’s chi stagnation that needs movement. In my clinical approach, which builds on Chinese medicine principles, post-relationship pain comes from energy that’s stuck. I’ve treated people who have tried meditation, medication, or analysis, to get over someone who dumped them, but my secret ingredient is strategic pleasure and purposeful rebellion.

Introducing the Liberation List Method

This method completely reframes heartbreak recovery by focusing on what you can gain rather than what you’ve lost. It’s based on a simple principle: Nothing went wrong! Everything that happens has a purpose.

Phase 1: Create Your Inspiration Inventory

You need something to move towards because heartbreak is about being stuck in the past. Begin by writing down everything that inspires you and activities you’ve always wanted to try but never pursued. This isn’t about distraction – it’s about direction.

Categories to explore:

• Creative pursuits you’ve postponed
• Adventures you’ve avoided
• Skills you’ve wanted to develop
• Experiences that spark genuine excitement

Phase 2: Add the Forbidden Items

Here’s where this method becomes revolutionary: add everything your ex criticised, disapproved of, or wouldn’t let you do. These items are the most powerful because they directly reconnect you with suppressed parts of yourself.

This isn’t about revenge – it’s about reclamation.

Every relationship requires compromises, but when you consistently suppress core aspects of your nature to maintain harmony, you’re trading self-expression for relationship security. The breakup has freed you from these constraints.

Examples might include:

• Hobbies they found pointless
• Music they couldn’t stand
• Activities they considered a waste of time or money
• Social connections they discouraged
• Lifestyle choices they opposed

Phase 3: Take Immediate Action

Traditional advice suggests waiting, processing, and gradually getting over heartbreak. My approach is immediate engagement with your Liberation List.

Why immediate action works:

• Interrupts emotional patterns that keep you stuck in analysis
• Generates new neural pathways that bypass painful associations
• Creates forward momentum when you feel most stagnant
• Reconnects you with personal agency when you feel powerless

The Science Behind Strategic Pleasure

In Chinese medicine philosophy, physical, emotional, and spiritual pain all stem from blocked energy flow. Pleasure is medicinal because it generates movement.

When you engage with activities that genuinely excite you, especially those that were restricted in your relationship, you’re not avoiding your feelings – you’re creating chi flow.

This has a cascade effect:

• Converts stagnant energy into forward momentum
• Prevents overthinking that reinforces limiting narratives
• Connects you with opportunities aligned with your true self
• Builds confidence through action rather than analysis

Beyond Recovery: Discovering Your Cosmic Self

Most heartbreak advice focuses on getting over it and getting back to how you were before. This method goes for transformation into something greater.

The “cosmic self” is your authentic self, who you really are, beyond social conditioning, relationship roles, and acquired behaviours. It’s who you are when you’re not trying to please anyone or maintain any image.

Your Liberation List may give you some pointers for getting on the path to discovering your cosmic self.

Signs you’re reconnecting with your cosmic self:

• Feeling excited about possibilities rather than trapped by loss
• Making decisions based on inner guidance rather than the approval of others
• Experiencing energy and enthusiasm for life
• Attracting opportunities and people aligned with your true nature

Addressing the Deeper Patterns

The Myth of “Working Through” Relationship Issues

Many people believe they need to understand exactly what went wrong before they can move forward. This is a trap that keeps you anchored in the past.

In my clinical experience, couples who endlessly analyse relationship problems rarely resolve them. Analysis keeps you in the mind, resolution requires the body and chi flow,

The truth: If someone chooses to leave, the healthiest recovery strategy is ‘movement and flow’

Why Some Relationships Must End for Spiritual Growth

If you had to consistently suppress your true nature in the relationship, its end could be protecting your spiritual growth Relationships that require you to be less than who you are aren’t sustainable or beneficial.

Staying in those relationships leads to cynicism, resentment, and disconnection from your life purpose.

The Healing Possibility

Unlike traditional approaches that prescribe months or years of healing, this method can shift pain in days. The key moves are:

• Delete the “something went wrong” narrative
• Embrace the idea that you deserve reward
• Move towards authentic self-expression

Advanced Applications of the Liberation List

For Those Currently in Relationships

Even if you’re happily partnered, creating a Liberation List is a fun thing to do as it reveals important things you may have forgotten about yourself. Independence within relationship is key to lasting happiness.

Then engaging with activities on your list (excluding anything that would harm your partnership), prevents the slow erosion of identity that weakens many long-term relationships.

For Recurring Relationship Patterns

If you repeatedly find yourself in relationships that end in the same way, your Liberation List reveals the aspects of yourself you may always be compromising. These are the areas requiring strongest protection in future partnerships.

Heartbreak Cure Next Steps

1. Create your Liberation List immediately – don’t wait until you “feel better”
2. Include everything that was restricted or criticized in your past relationship
3. Take action on at least one item today – even small steps generate momentum
4. Focus on reward not analysis – you’re not solving a problem, you’re reclaiming freedom
5. Trust the process – it may feel counter-intuitive but it does work!

Remember: The relationship that needs your attention isn’t the one that ended – it’s the one with your cosmic self that’s just beginning!

Ready to explore more revolutionary approaches to personal transformation? Discover how ancient wisdom meets modern insight for self healing and spiritual growth in Jost’s book Chi Health Cycle and in his unique online course Chinese Medicine 101. Both are packed full of useful and inspirational information.